After that night, my life was like one big party. I graduated college with a degree in Web Design only to figure out that wasn't what I wanted to do. (I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do, by the way)
I hung out with my girls every chance I had. We partied and went clubbing like it was our job. I met new people, made new friends and even found a new fling.
We'll call him "city boy". City Boy was here for college and was an on going headache for 7 months of my life. When I first met him, the idea of him did nothing for me. I wasn't interested in him right off the bat but hung out with him for the fun of it. It was never anything serious, we kissed and watched movies together. He made me laugh and that was what I needed. After my one nighter, I didn't feel like myself. Something in me had changed and I was trying to find myself again. I don't feel like city boy did that, but he helped me to forget the past and taught me a lot about the future. He helped me understand the way a guy's mind works and I quickly learned to play their "game". Wrong move. Because of this, he played the game on me and I played it right back...but probably better. We eventually both had enough and stopped playing all together. We ended all communication and after that I decided to give myself a break from men, dating, love, etc. I felt hopeless and had given up.
Until one Wednesday. I didn't know it then, but I do know.
He was an old friend, a guy from the past. We'll call him "buddy". I hadn't seen Buddy in years and we exchanged numbers. He wanted to hang out but I was hesitant. My guard was up and I was trying to keep it that way. I eventually gave in and before I knew it, we were spending day and night together. We started hooking up and at first I had complete control over my emotions, and then he started coming around more often and sleeping over every night. I became attached and very comfortable with him. He was one of my best friends plus more, and I loved spending my time with him. He helped me find myself again.
Before I knew it, things went wrong. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too and that wasn't something I was okay with. We stopped spending time together and we even stopped talking for awhile. At first I couldn't adjust. I was so used to having him around that I couldn't sleep. It took me weeks to sleep a full night and even longer to stop wanting him there. We had a lot of good times which make for great memories but it's hard to look back when there's so much regret...
But that's the way life goes...and now I've brought you up to speed.
xxx-
Lola
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